what He would do

i wish the phrase "What Would Jesus Do?" didn't become so cliche, almost as if it'd be a joke to wear that bracelet from 10+ years ago.  after all, it's a question we actually SHOULD be constantly asking ourselves in any situation.  is not one of our goals to be like Him?  to awaken in His likeness? to choose the narrow road?

it is very easy to take the route of pride that confidently says, "i know how this will turn out, and this was a frequent route, and God never said 'no.'"  it's familiar, it's seemingly predictable, it apparently requires no faith.

and who knows, maybe Jesus WOULD do the thing you are about to do.

but sometimes, you never know... sure He probably didn't say "no," but has He said "yes?"

the YES of God is a more powerful blessing than any blessing and 'yes' of man.

Jesus, that we may be careful in our speech and actions, that our heart motives are of LOVE, that our desire is to be more like You; You, Yourself, have said that You only do what the Father does, and say what the Father says... why should I do any different?  Why should I be so independent of You, when You submitted Your will to Your Father?


My heart is Yours, what would You do?


...and help me to trust that You DO speak to me, and that the Spirit will, indeed, guide me into all Truth.




xo

the infinite ocean of Christ's love - octavius winslow

Please do listen to the audio reading as well :)

The Infinite Ocean of Christ's Love Octavius Winslow The mind has often been sensible of a feeling of awe as we have stood upon the shore, and gazed upon the vast expanse of the ocean. With a similar, yet far transcending emotion, we approach the infinite ocean of Christ's love! Like the eternity of God, we cannot fathom where His love begins, or where it terminates. There is no other solution to the marvelous mysteries of His Incarnation and Sacrificial Death but this: Christ has loved us. Love originated all, explains all, illustrates all. Love is the interpreter of every Divine mystery. There is not a circumstance of our Lord's history which is not another form or manifestation of love. His incarnation is love stooping. His sympathy is love weeping. His compassion is love supporting. His grace is love acting. His teaching is the voice of love. His silence is the repose of love. His patience is the restraint of love. His obedience is the labor of love. His suffering is the travail of love. His cross is the altar of love. His death is the burnt offering of love. His resurrection is the triumph of love. His ascension into heaven is the enthronement of love. His sitting down at the right hand of God is the intercession of love. Such is the deep, the vast, the boundless ocean of Christ's love! The soul muses in silent awe as it gazes upon this fathomless, limitless sea! Nothing short of a divine love could or would have borne our sins, and the punishment of our sins. The weight of the one, and the terribleness of the other, would have crushed and annihilated a mere 'created' affection. There existed no love but the love of Jesus equal to the work of salvation. Who was willing, who was able, to bear that heavy load, to endure that overwhelming curse, but Jesus? Oh, think, beloved reader, what the love of Christ has done and suffered for you.... the burden it bore, the sorrow it felt, the humiliation it underwent, the insults, the ignominy, the privation through which it traveled; its groans, its sighs, its tears, its darkness, how inconceivably it agonized, how freely it bled, how voluntarily it died, the sins it has pardoned, the guilt it has cleansed, the declensions it has restored, the backslidings it has healed, the sorrows it has soothed, the patience it has exercised, the gentleness it has exhibited, and then ask, could any other but the love of Jesus have done all this, and endured all this? Such is the love of Christ! To have saved us upon such terms... a stoop so low, a humiliation so profound, a labor so immense, mental anguish so acute, bodily suffering so agonizing, a death so ignominious... Was ever love like this? Was it ever equaled? Where shall we find its parallel? Love less divine, less strong, less gentle, could never have won your heart, uprooted your enmity, tore you from your idols; enthroning Christ, all of Christ, Christ only, Christ supremely, Christ forever! The love of Christ will be the wonder, the study, and the song of all pure, holy intelligences through eternity! Beloved, nothing shall take the love of Christ from you, or separate you from it. It does not ebb with the ebbing of your feelings; It does not chill with the chill of your affections; It does not change with the changing scenes and circumstances of your life. The love of Christ has depths we cannot sound, heights we cannot explore, an infinite fulness and freeness tiding over all the sins, infirmities, and sorrows of its blessed and favored objects. Seek to know this love of Christ, though it is so vast that it 'passes knowledge.' Infinite though it is, you may experience its reality, taste its sweetness, and be influenced by its all commanding, all constraining power. Do not limit your heart experience of Christ's love, for it is infinite in its nature, and boundless in its extent. As yet, how many of us stand but upon the shore of this ocean! How little do we know, experimentally, of the love of Christ in our souls! Bring your heart with.... its profoundest emptiness, its most startling discovery of sin, its lowest frame, its deepest sorrow, and sink it into the depths of the Savior's love! That infinite sea will flow over all, erase all, absorb all, and your soul shall swim and sport amid its gentle waves, exclaiming in your joy and transport, "Oh, the depths!" The Lord direct your heart into the love of God! Just as it is... hard, cold, fickle, sinful, sad and sorrowful. Christ's love touching your hard heart, will dissolve it! Christ's love touching your cold heart, will warm it! Christ's love touching your sinful heart, will purify it! Christ's love touching your sorrowful heart, will soothe it! Christ's love touching your wandering heart, will draw it back to Himself. Only bring your heart to Christ's love! Believe that He loves you, and just as love begets love, so the simple belief in the love of Jesus will inspire you with a reflected, responsive affection; and your soul, like the flower, will burst from its captivity, and bloom, and, soaring in life, liberty, and beauty, will float in the sunbeams of Gods full, free, and eternal love; and, in a little while, will find itself in heaven, where all is love! "Blessed Jesus! Your love, like Your agonies, is an unknown and unfathomable depth! It passes knowledge. Let it rise and expand before me, until it fills the entire scope of my soul's vision; occupies every niche of my heart; and bears me onward by its all commanding, all constraining influence, in the path of a holy loving obedience and surrender." "May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so great you will never fully understand it." Ephes. 3:19

to thirst.

currently reading "The Pursuit of God" by A.W. Tozer.  this is an excerpt from chapter 1, and a prayer my soul has been crying out incessantly...

Amen and amen.

Give me grace, God, to follow faithfully after You.. I am so weak, be strong for me.




xo

currently listening: Rich Mullins 

byebye 2011

I once wrote about my thoughts about life in cyberspace because, like real life, there's healthy cyberspace community, then there's creepy stalkers.  I apologize to my loyal readers that you've had to feel the junk end as the result of my cautions.

However, because it's the end of the year and I felt like reminiscing on the grace of God, I actually wrote about my life with its realistic situations.

The one that meant the most is this one.  I wrote about the House of Prayer, coffee, Special Ed, chronic tendinitis, and of course, the Grace of God.  It's rather lengthy, so if you read anything, let it be the final paragraphs :)

Happy Twelve!
xo

forgiveness

Africa by Emma Hardy

Forgiveness does not mean that I agree with what you've done or what you are continuing to do.
It does not mean that it is safe for us to build (or rebuild) a relationship, much less a friendship.
It does not mean we are okay to establish (or re-establish) even communication.
But it does mean that I have released all rights to be resentful, angry, or bitter towards you.
It means I am not letting thoughts of revenge or self-pity control my mind.
Forgiveness in itself is grace, because there is nothing of my flesh that could give something to someone that they do not deserve.
Only the love and power of God could make this whole.

Forgiveness means I am letting the blood of Jesus cover me.

And I can look at the situation, I can look at you, and it doesn't hurt anymore, it doesn't sting anymore.

And I know it inflicted wounds, but nothing too deep that His love could not go deeper still -

Nothing that He could not reveal, nothing that He could not heal.

It means that I am unclenching my fists and releasing the very chains that Christ already broke off of me.
Forgiveness means that I too am free.



*
sorry for the absence lately.  just a heads up, i may have to make this blog private due to some personal safety issues arising.  if this comes about and you are a regular reader, i'll be asking for email addresses to add you to my list of approved readers..... but no worries, not just yet : )  and maybe if *someone* leaves me alone, we won't have to do this.

xo


currently reading: Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte.

tonight's raw prayer

(source)

God,
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what's wisdom, where to look, or if to wait,
I don't know how to be full of faith and full of wise actions at the same time,
I don't know how to pray.

God,
I'm not asking for You to make things easier
-but You know my heart, You know I'd really like that-
yet, the little that I know You, what I do know is that
sometimes Your answer is the hard road,
to make me grow more, to make me learn more.

At the core of all this,
God,
All I want to do is to Love You.
That's it-
to really Love You.

God,
I better be honest...
What I also would like is to feel loved by You.
And feel affirmed that where I am is where You want me to be.
My heart is content wherever You are!
If You are in the heights, there I shall be
If You are in the depths, there too I shall be.
We belong to each other, You and me, and I want to be where You are!..

But God,
I..
don't know where You are.
(well yes, You are here),
but I don't know where You are going.
It's so strange how I hear Your voice but yet You feel so far.

Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going, and how can we know the way?” Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. - John 14.5-6

Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is none upon the earth that I desire besides You.
- Psalm 73.25

I sought the One I love; I sought Him, but I did not find Him.
“I will rise now,” I said, “And go about the city; in the streets and in the squares, I will seek the One I love.”
I sought Him, but I did not find Him.
The watchmen who go about the city found me;
I said, “Have you seen the One I love?”
Scarcely had I passed by them, when I found the One I love.
I held Him and would not let him go
- Song of Solomon 3.1-4

As for me, the nearness of God is my good...
- Psalm 73.28

There are so many answers I need,
So many final decisions I want Your input
So many virtues I need You to help me attain
And yet, all of that is loss compared to the simple desire of:
God, I just want You.

Help me to trust You and help my unbelief
I want to be dependent on You...
Because there's not a care in the world
When I am trusting You completely...
- Jon Thurlow, "Dependent on You"

xo

the wasted life.

source

i could spend everything i am for the sake of Christ:
all my time, my efforts, my heart, my thoughts, my conversations
and people may say, "what a wasted life."

or, i could do what everyone else expects out of me:
in order to be accepted, to be successful, to be relevant
and Christ may say of me, "what a wasted life."

.....i know how i'll be wasting mine.. it's all for Him.



xo



currently reading: The Forgotten Desert Mothers by Laura Swan
currently listening: Strong Love by Jon Thurlow [it's sooooo good!!]
currently watching: Jane Eyre, BBC Version